June 12th, 2012
Recovery sucks, I'm 143.8 lbs.
This picture kind of relates to how I feel.
This picture kind of relates to how I feel.
January 29th, 2012
In order to get to 110 lbs by March 15th, I have to eat less than 300 cals daily. Some days I'll fast, the others I'll only have that amount. I have to get there before we move to 110 McBeth, or I'll never be happy living there.
January 24th, 2012
I started a fast yesterday, went into it 131 lbs, and now I weigh 128 lbs! Good motivation for day two, I want to go until Friday, and at the pace I'm going, the math says I'll lose 15 lbs? Sounds good to me, if it's correct, on saterday, I could weigh in at 116 lbs. That would be nice. Very nice.
Later, I broke my fast, but I'll pick it up tomorrow again. I think I'm gonna try to fast every second day, it's kinda fun. Today I've had about 2 cups of Corn Flakes (220 cals), then some chocolate (100 cals), some almond milk (80 cals) and a meatball (I'm guessing 100 cal). So about, say, 500 cal? Not bad, not great. But on the bright side, I'm absolutly stuffed after that meatball! My stomache has definitly shrunk :)
Later, I broke my fast, but I'll pick it up tomorrow again. I think I'm gonna try to fast every second day, it's kinda fun. Today I've had about 2 cups of Corn Flakes (220 cals), then some chocolate (100 cals), some almond milk (80 cals) and a meatball (I'm guessing 100 cal). So about, say, 500 cal? Not bad, not great. But on the bright side, I'm absolutly stuffed after that meatball! My stomache has definitly shrunk :)
January 19th, 2012
Boot camp today, wow it was hard. Think I burned a few cals, because I almost blacked out a couple times.
<- that's what I want, to be super beautiful and skinny and super smart. I'm gonna be perfect, a pro ana physicist. Perfect.
<- that's what I want, to be super beautiful and skinny and super smart. I'm gonna be perfect, a pro ana physicist. Perfect.
January 17th, 2012
Debating on whether or not I should break my fast. The pro-ana in me is saying 'No, look at the weight your losing, and still have to lose', but the only problem is that it's -37 degrees celcuis outside, far too cold to keep filling up a mug by running between home and school every hour. Anyway, I weighed in today at 8:15 am at 128.4 lbs.
About 15 mins later: YEAH! I called my mom and said 'I don't feel good', we had a little debate and I won! No school for Courtney today, the fast continues.
10:39am- I broke my water fast. I don't regret it, I'm not exactly proud of it, but I did it anyway.
About 15 mins later: YEAH! I called my mom and said 'I don't feel good', we had a little debate and I won! No school for Courtney today, the fast continues.
10:39am- I broke my water fast. I don't regret it, I'm not exactly proud of it, but I did it anyway.
January 16th, 2012
Not one calorie today. I had hydroxycut, and lemon water. Banff Film festival
was from 6-10:30, so no possibility of me eating there, even though my tummy
growled- erm, I mean was applauding my willpower. At 11:27 pm, I weighed in at
129.8lbs. Not bad, a weekend of feasting means a week full of fasting. Mom made stew, not sure if I should just make this a liquid fast and have some, not today, but tomorrow. Problem is I make my stew really thick with crackers, so that makes it high calorie- I'm guessing about 200-400 cals.
was from 6-10:30, so no possibility of me eating there, even though my tummy
growled- erm, I mean was applauding my willpower. At 11:27 pm, I weighed in at
129.8lbs. Not bad, a weekend of feasting means a week full of fasting. Mom made stew, not sure if I should just make this a liquid fast and have some, not today, but tomorrow. Problem is I make my stew really thick with crackers, so that makes it high calorie- I'm guessing about 200-400 cals.
January 15th, 2012
Another fat weekend. This weeks finals, so I'm going to fast.
January 13th, 2012
This morning at 8 am, I weighed in at 129.2.
January 12th, 2012
Day after yesterday, and I'm impressed at the numbers. I weighted in at 130 lbs today at around 4 pm. Still have a long way to go.
January 11th, 2012
Grandma Norrain died on the weekend :( I gained 5+ lbs because of it. A couple days ago I weighed in at 134.8 lbs. I bought Hydrozycut and now I'm at 132 lbs.
January 6th, 2012
I weighed in at 128 lbs this morning. I have a goal of 125 lbs for next Friday.
January 5th, 2012
Banana, strawberry and kiwi smoothie for breakfast 320 cals, I weighed in at 130.2 lbs at 8:40 am.
Tea and three cheese ravioli for lunch, 300 cals, weight: 130.8 lbs at 11:57 am.
Tea and three cheese ravioli for lunch, 300 cals, weight: 130.8 lbs at 11:57 am.
January 4th, 2012
I weighed in at 128 lbs today, at 6:30 am. I'm a litle tired, but I'll sleep when I get home from school. Have a hot tea next to me that's too hot to drink, I added a little honey. I had about 25 cals worth of chocolate, which I'm not exactly proud of, but it's only 25 cals. Plan two, not gonna fast today, cause I don't want to and I have tofu that I love and want to have. And would appreciate a little energy for back to school. The tofu is 90 cals, plus the 30 from chocolate, 120 cals, not bad so far.
Later...
The good day, is now a bad day. 1500 cals...
Later...
The good day, is now a bad day. 1500 cals...
January 3rd, 2012
I'm fasting, because my weight ballooned up to 133 lbs. Day to myself.
December 31st, 2011
129.4 lbs today? That's right. Fasting is ahead of me. I'll be back to school on day 3, and apperently that's when my hunger is going to stop. So awesome. Father Rishere is going to school for an improvement in career, so he'll be gone for months! Wish me luck :)
Later...
Sucky. I had 3850 calories!! AHHHH. Purge.
This site's pretty good for fasting: http://www.fitnessthroughfasting.com/40-days-water-fast-motivation-and-strenght-needed.html
This is the best site ever: http://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php
And google: Ana bones, it's like Fat Girl Guide
Later...
Sucky. I had 3850 calories!! AHHHH. Purge.
This site's pretty good for fasting: http://www.fitnessthroughfasting.com/40-days-water-fast-motivation-and-strenght-needed.html
This is the best site ever: http://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php
And google: Ana bones, it's like Fat Girl Guide
December 30th, 2011
129 lbs today. I worked my butt off last night, so I don't know what to think about it. I'm definatly not complaining! We're going to Boston Pizza today, I've had pretty much nothing all day, except Crystal Light. Tonight I'm going to have 7 cheese ravioli, its the lowest in cals, and the parents won't get suspicious.
Later...
Wow. I suuuck, the ravioli came w/ a side of garlic bread w/ melted cheese, so I ate it first. I had like 2-4 ravioli noodles and 2 glasses of chocolate milk. Then a couple spoons of apple crisp, and a monster cookie. Total? 1500 cals.
Later...
Wow. I suuuck, the ravioli came w/ a side of garlic bread w/ melted cheese, so I ate it first. I had like 2-4 ravioli noodles and 2 glasses of chocolate milk. Then a couple spoons of apple crisp, and a monster cookie. Total? 1500 cals.
December 29th, 2011
More gap, 130.2 today. We went to the movies, again. And I ate popcorn again. But I didn't purge all of it, because we made a stop at the hospital and it was too late. Sheep.
December 28th, 2011
130.8 today, I see a gap starting to form! Purged dinner, popcorn and glossets today. Hungry, but I crave skinniness more. Fast for the next three days, no problem, no crystal light.
Inspiring words.
The best things in life are hard. The are not going to be handed to you on a platter, you have to go out and fight for them. Being thin is not going to be easy, but it’ll be worth it. Look at other girls, girls with boyfriends, girls with gorgeous figures, girls who never stop smiling. They have everything they want, and so can you. It would be amazing. Don’t you want to be able to say 'I used to be fat’. Just get up, now. Go on a run, do some sit ups, just go walking, anything! anything to get that dream body. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be so unbelievably worth it. You can be gorgeous and tiny, just wait a see.
When I lose the weight,
I will get a hot boyfriend.
I will wear hoodies and still look skinny
I will love to wear bikinis and crop tops
I will not stop smiling
I will not cringe at pictures of myself
I will not be the fat friend
I will have no fat on my sides
I will smile at my refection
I will wear cute underwear
I will be truly happy
It’s not going to be easy, but when I do lose the weight, it’ll be so worth the struggle.
Everytime I’m tempted to binge, I’ll look at this list and remember why I’m doing this.
It's just that feeling you get when you see the numbers on the scale go lower, it is so much better than the feeling of eating :)
December 26th, 2011
http://beautifulythinplease.xanga.com/754679995/thinspo/?=itemrelated
http://youhavetoeatlesstoweighless.tumblr.com/page/3
http://starve-and-smile.tumblr.com/page/10
http://iamgoingtobethin.tumblr.com/page/108
They're awesome, great thinspos, great stories.
Anyways, today I'm surviving off of crystal light water. I've probably had 30 cals today :) Woke up at 3pm, and yeah, no breakfast or lunch, no dinner either. I'm doing pretty good. I even passed up a burger and chocolates, determination! I'm at 131lbs today.
http://youhavetoeatlesstoweighless.tumblr.com/page/3
http://starve-and-smile.tumblr.com/page/10
http://iamgoingtobethin.tumblr.com/page/108
They're awesome, great thinspos, great stories.
Anyways, today I'm surviving off of crystal light water. I've probably had 30 cals today :) Woke up at 3pm, and yeah, no breakfast or lunch, no dinner either. I'm doing pretty good. I even passed up a burger and chocolates, determination! I'm at 131lbs today.
December 25th, 2011
Another bad day, yesterday everybody was over, we ate and gathered and opened presents. No purging. Just overstuffing. Today I'm at 132.8 lbs. AHH! I'm 2lbs heavier than I was last Wednesday. Today is my last day of feasting, then tomorrow we'll hit the boxing day sales on a fast.
December 21st, 2011
Today I weighed myself and I'm 130.8 lbs. I was on the treadmill for 100 mins! And I might be having my cousins over, and one doesn't like to eat either, so I'll have his support, and my cousin Sophia will either to busy stuffing her face to notice my not eating, or will see how much I'm not eating and she'll join me. Perfect.
I put on a bikini this morning, and wowza I look good in it. Can't wait until Summer with my cousins and friends, on the tube, and in the water. Well, ta ta for now :)
Starve on.
I put on a bikini this morning, and wowza I look good in it. Can't wait until Summer with my cousins and friends, on the tube, and in the water. Well, ta ta for now :)
Starve on.
December 19th, 2011
Skipped school today cause I only had a couple hours of sleep. Today I had some peanut butter (150 cal), half a watermelon (50 cal), a fry (10 cal), some crystal light mixs (25 cal), a granola bar (90 cal), and hot chocolate (120 cal) = 445 cal
And then I spent 100 minutes on the treadmill and burned about 800 calories. I weighed myself first thing in the mornig, 133.8 lbs. But then I weighed myself after my workout and I'm at 131.8.
And then I spent 100 minutes on the treadmill and burned about 800 calories. I weighed myself first thing in the mornig, 133.8 lbs. But then I weighed myself after my workout and I'm at 131.8.
December 15th, 2011
Breakfast was 3 egg whites (51 cals) and 1 cup of 1% milk (110 cals)
Lunch was a Crystal Light packet (10 cal) and I had 9 mini pickles (10 cals)
Then I went on a 75:00 run/walk variation on the treadmill and I burned, according to the treadmill, 550 cals. So I ate 181
cals, and burned 550, so I could say I ate -369 cals.
I'll do some more working out tonight later, because now I'm in a compitition with someone, to see who can lose the most by December 27th. Bring it on, cause I'm gonna lose. Get it? haha. For all those braindeads, I'm going to lose weight, and win the compitition. Wow, can't believe I just explained that.
Breakfast was 3 egg whites (51 cals) and 1 cup of 1% milk (110 cals)
Lunch was a Crystal Light packet (10 cal) and I had 9 mini pickles (10 cals)
Then I went on a 75:00 run/walk variation on the treadmill and I burned, according to the treadmill, 550 cals. So I ate 181
cals, and burned 550, so I could say I ate -369 cals.
I'll do some more working out tonight later, because now I'm in a compitition with someone, to see who can lose the most by December 27th. Bring it on, cause I'm gonna lose. Get it? haha. For all those braindeads, I'm going to lose weight, and win the compitition. Wow, can't believe I just explained that.
December 14th, 2011
Wow. I was sick today, so I stayed home, and ate everything. For breakfast, 320 cals worth of cream of mushroom soup, then at least 2 cups of eggnog (420 cal), 2 icecream bars (340 cals), a few bites of pancake (35 cals), 3 table spoons of peanut butter (300 cals) and cheerios (140 cals). And to think today was going to be a fast. This weekend I have a christmas celebration
with my friends, unavoidable, bet those cals are going to stack up... Fal la la la la, la la, la, la.
Three words, purge, purge, purge.
= 1555 cals.
with my friends, unavoidable, bet those cals are going to stack up... Fal la la la la, la la, la, la.
Three words, purge, purge, purge.
= 1555 cals.
December 13th, 2011
I'm not going to fast today, I would have no way to keep hot tea on me, to stop my tummy from growling breakfast was 40 cals worth of yogurt, and 70 cals worth of granola = 110 cals
Lunch is going to be two oranges (70 cals) and a cheese string (50 cals) = 120
cals
Dinner was 7 cookies (420 cals), and 90 cals worth of seafood dip, 20 cals of chips, and 250 cals of eggnog. A fast tomorrow.
= 1010 cals. 129.8 lbs
Lunch is going to be two oranges (70 cals) and a cheese string (50 cals) = 120
cals
Dinner was 7 cookies (420 cals), and 90 cals worth of seafood dip, 20 cals of chips, and 250 cals of eggnog. A fast tomorrow.
= 1010 cals. 129.8 lbs
December 12th, 2011
A fast today. I did awesome, I purged the cake that my friends threw down my throat, and they didn't suspect a thing.
December 10th, 2011
200pm: 129.6 lbs :)
Was sick all night with extreme chills, then extreme over heating and sweating, ans feeling nausiated and having diarrea. But it paid off? I lost weight!
Ahh!
I'm so happy!
I haven't been in the 20's for soo long! I have to lose 0.6 ounces by tomorrow though. I'll fast.
Was sick all night with extreme chills, then extreme over heating and sweating, ans feeling nausiated and having diarrea. But it paid off? I lost weight!
Ahh!
I'm so happy!
I haven't been in the 20's for soo long! I have to lose 0.6 ounces by tomorrow though. I'll fast.
December 9th, 2011
I had a couple teaspoons of peanut butter (200), a granola bar (130), a 1/3 cup tortilini (200), a spring roll (75), a
lifesaver (10), a poutine (710) and a chocolate milk (130), off to purge.
I'm a stinkin' 132.6 lbs.
lifesaver (10), a poutine (710) and a chocolate milk (130), off to purge.
I'm a stinkin' 132.6 lbs.
December 8th, 2011
A fast today, I lost 2 lbs today as well. Hot tea kept me feeling full, so my tummy wasn't growling at me. I'm down to 130.8. The hardest part of today was when I was offered spring rolls/egg rolls, and had to say I ate earlier, because spring rolls/egg rolls are something I'd usually cave into. I have a goal of weighing 129 by Sunday, I lost 2 pounds today, and I have one more to go, maybe I'll get to my Dec. 18th goal- 127lbs or my Dec. 25th goal- 125lbs.
My tea today has been Cup of Joy. It's a cranberry pomagranate brew, pretty good, I added just a little touch of honey to my first cup today. (5 or 10 cal b/c of honey) and 130.8 lbs
My tea today has been Cup of Joy. It's a cranberry pomagranate brew, pretty good, I added just a little touch of honey to my first cup today. (5 or 10 cal b/c of honey) and 130.8 lbs
December 7th, 2011
27 min highimpact cardio
Breakfast: 40 cals worth of jello, half banana, half orange
Snack: 13 cals of pickles, purged chocolate pie piece and Corn Flakes = 148 cals
Lunch: 40 cals worth of jello, half banana, half orange
(both breakfast and lunch added to 222
cals)
Dinner: 200 cals of ravioli, no sauce
= 570 cals (and 132.8 lbs)
Breakfast: 40 cals worth of jello, half banana, half orange
Snack: 13 cals of pickles, purged chocolate pie piece and Corn Flakes = 148 cals
Lunch: 40 cals worth of jello, half banana, half orange
(both breakfast and lunch added to 222
cals)
Dinner: 200 cals of ravioli, no sauce
= 570 cals (and 132.8 lbs)
December 6th, 2011
6:30 am: 27 mins of high impact aerobics
8:20 am: 3 egg whites + little milk to keep them fluffy 45 cals + half thintini bun (89 cals) = 135 cals
11:15 am: mandarine orange 35 cals
Lunch: ravioli (purged) but about 350 cals,
Granola bars 260 cals
4:45 pm: chocolate milk + fetticini alfrado noodles (purged) but about 310 cals
5:00 pm: Granola bar 130 cals and ashot of straight cinnimon
= 628 cals
8:20 am: 3 egg whites + little milk to keep them fluffy 45 cals + half thintini bun (89 cals) = 135 cals
11:15 am: mandarine orange 35 cals
Lunch: ravioli (purged) but about 350 cals,
Granola bars 260 cals
4:45 pm: chocolate milk + fetticini alfrado noodles (purged) but about 310 cals
5:00 pm: Granola bar 130 cals and ashot of straight cinnimon
= 628 cals
December 5th, 2011
I woke up at 6:30 am this morning and did a half hour of high impact aerobics. Then breakfast was 107 cals worth of oatmeal and icecream w/ cinnamon, then I had 1 orange as a snack (35 cal), and lunch is 2 egg whites, with some milk and flour (44 cal). So so far, 186 out of 300, that means I have 114 cals left to eat today.
http://www.healthstatus.com/calculators.html
Go on that website, but make sure to go on the how much your burning, it'll even tell you how many cals your burning when your brushing your teeth! And right now, I'm eating 1/3 cup applesauce, 30 cals, so now I have 84 calories for
tonight. After I got to school, my tummy started growling, so I had another orange (35 cal). Now I'm down to 0 cals, because I had about that much in a spoonfull of chocolate pie (purged). Then I went to the movies, and I was the designated popcorn buyer, and they gave me weird looks when I didn't have any, so I had some. Then some more. And some more. Until almost all of it was gone, but it was all purged, because did you know, one movie popcorn w/ butter has 1200 cals!?!?! That is like 4 days worth of calories! Gosh. Purge, purge, purge.
http://www.healthstatus.com/calculators.html
Go on that website, but make sure to go on the how much your burning, it'll even tell you how many cals your burning when your brushing your teeth! And right now, I'm eating 1/3 cup applesauce, 30 cals, so now I have 84 calories for
tonight. After I got to school, my tummy started growling, so I had another orange (35 cal). Now I'm down to 0 cals, because I had about that much in a spoonfull of chocolate pie (purged). Then I went to the movies, and I was the designated popcorn buyer, and they gave me weird looks when I didn't have any, so I had some. Then some more. And some more. Until almost all of it was gone, but it was all purged, because did you know, one movie popcorn w/ butter has 1200 cals!?!?! That is like 4 days worth of calories! Gosh. Purge, purge, purge.
December 4th, 2011
I slept in 'till 1:30 pm, so I hardly ate all afternoon, and I managed to squeeze in 2 high and low impact half hour aerobic classes. Then I had a slice of ham and pinapple pizza, 3/4 cup of tortilini, cheerios, 130 cals worth of chocolate cream pie, and 1/4 cup of chocolate milk. So around 722 cal? But according to my calculations, I burned 296 cal w/ my aerobics, so 426 cal, and just being awake burns calories, so I hope I burned more than even. I've also been going crazy on the ice water today. But, the entire point of me having this thinspiration blog, is so that you all can see my progress, but have I made any? Not much. This week is going to be different, instead of taking the bus, I'm going to walk, but only if the weather permits. And what
else? High and low impact half hour aerobics, at least twice a day, and I just found out nearly 1/3 of my body weight is fat, that means 44.5 lbs I'm carying around for no reason, so I have the possibility of weighing 89.9 lbs, but I don't want to look full out anorexic, so I'll keep my goals above 105 lbs. But I garentee I'll change.
else? High and low impact half hour aerobics, at least twice a day, and I just found out nearly 1/3 of my body weight is fat, that means 44.5 lbs I'm carying around for no reason, so I have the possibility of weighing 89.9 lbs, but I don't want to look full out anorexic, so I'll keep my goals above 105 lbs. But I garentee I'll change.
December 2nd, 2011
Today I had a cup of apple sauce, a cup of tortilini and a couple spoon of peanut butter. Then I had a cheesebun, was it worth the 1055 calorie total? no... Gotta love a weekend of fasting.
December 1st, 2011
Yesterday I had a yogurt cup and strawberry special k cerial, and however much I didn't purge of dinner. Today's breakfast is a banana, strawberry special k cerial and a half cup milk = 272 calories. Tomorrows a friday, I swear I'll do better, but today is going to stay under 500 calories. But today my calories added up to 1,411 cal because of the eggnog, milk, tortilini and my lunch that consisted of a thintini bun and dehydrated strawberries. But I walked 3.1 km over one hour/lunch time, so maybe I burned some of it
off?
off?
November 29th, 2011
Today I did amazingly well on my diet, I didn't stay within the boundries, but I did better than I thought I would. Tomorrow will be the same, 2 omlette egg whites with mushrooms and a little milk to keep it fluffy, then a couple diet pills, a cup of herbal tea, and when I woke up this morning at 6:30 am, I didn't go back to sleep, I did a workout video, so even if I didn't stay within my limits, I did better than I did yesterday, which is the entire point right? Then I walked to school, and at lunch I had about 35 cals worth of yogurt and then like 1/4 of a pomagranite and then a mandarine orange. I got off my bus stop about 5 blocks from where I was supposed to get off, and then I ran to where I was meant to get off. Then a dentist appointment and some
shopping, and before I knew it it was 7 pm! When I got home, I went to my room and watch a harry potter movie because he's pretty. I admit I snacked on cheerios and some strawberry special K, and a little chocolate, but I purged the chocolate. I stepped on the scale, and have decided we need a new scale, withing a couple second, apperently my weight can jump from 130.3 to 136.7. Amazing. You can just imagine how happy I am, and in case you didn't get it, that was sarcasm.
shopping, and before I knew it it was 7 pm! When I got home, I went to my room and watch a harry potter movie because he's pretty. I admit I snacked on cheerios and some strawberry special K, and a little chocolate, but I purged the chocolate. I stepped on the scale, and have decided we need a new scale, withing a couple second, apperently my weight can jump from 130.3 to 136.7. Amazing. You can just imagine how happy I am, and in case you didn't get it, that was sarcasm.